never thought this would be me!

As a child when I discovered Peta, i couldnt help but watch the horrendous videos on their website. I saw images of where KFC get their chicken from, where race horses go when they are no longer making us money, or where are milk comes from. They were so disturbing, I tried to swear off meat and dairy. I think I may have lasted a day or two, but that was about it.

Now at 24 years old, and having gone through my own battles and getting to a very happy, content place in my life I started to explore that world again. As some of you may know it all started with a documentary called Earthlings. I fully credit this documentary to changing my life. It started me on a journey of fully understanding where our food comes from, If you can even call it that.

A few weeks ago I woke up and had an epiphany. Something in me decided that I could not eat meat anymore. I already wasnt eating dairy due to allergies.

Its been almost 3 weeks and I dont think I can ever look back now. I am now a Vegan, and my diet is a little more extreme than most due to my allergies that include dairy, wheat, soy and gluten. This has forced me to have a very clean, healthy diet, and I couldnt feel better.

The remnants that were left over from my RA have no vanished. My body doesnt have any swelling and even my joints that have damage, feel great and have almost no signs of being swollen. My skin is perfect, I have a healthy glow and my energy level is through the roof! I dont have desire to lose weight, I workout to be healthy and fit and have muscle tone, but I have lost 11lbs in a little over 2 weeks from having no meat or dairy!

I am going in for bloodwork in about a weeks time to compare it to my bloodwork before I went Vegan. It should be interesting to see what that shows.

My point here isnt to push being a Vegan or Vegetarian. To me its like a religion, I dont care what works for you or makes you happy, but dont push it on me! I simply wanted to share what has worked for me and how great I feel. I think its important in life to search for what works for your body and makes you feel your best. After all, life is far too short ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpFbT9XIVoQ

"Be the change you want to see in the world" Gandhi

As you may know I am a supporter of Animal Rights and have recently discovered an incredible organization called STOP UBC Animal Research. It is driven by very passionate people who are fighting everyday for animals to have a voice and no longer get abused and tortured in vivisection labs, more specifically the "Research" center at UBC.

I have become a supporter and follow each battle they face on a daily basis. At times it may be easy to feel like all hope is lost and no matter what we do, we will never see the light at the end of the tunnel. But after seeing an incredible video the other day about a baby monkey that was rescued from a lab in the United States, it made me realize that no matter how small the step may seem. It is still a step in the right direction and one step closer to helping the animals.

Some of the most amazing people in history wouldnt have a name if they just gave up after a few trials and tribulations. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. And right now there is no better cause than fighting for Animals to have rights and no longer be tortured every day of their sad lives just for our own benefits, or what we percieve as beneficial.

Please check out the below links to view the story of "Britches" and a few amazing organizations.
AND if you are downtown Vancouver today for 420, please buy some goodies from the mobile STOP unit that is selling Vegan cupcakes, cookies etc. Will come in handy if you have the munchies;)

http://www.britches.org.uk/video.asp

http://stopubcanimalresearch.org/

http://www.all-creatures.org/saen/

I wanted to mention that during my recent journey and experiences over the last year or so it forced me to really look at my life and my goals and directions. I couldnt be happier and feel so incredible being a part of a movement for such an important cause. I have made and reached some cool goals over the years. But nothing compares to helping give animals a voice.

Update on the truck!

It has been a little while since I have posted. So here is my update!

My truck has gone Brown Bros Performance to get worked on as it seemed to simply have blown head gaskets. Little did I know that was just the tip of the iceberg.

To make a long story short, the old motor was torn out and a new shortblock was ordered up! Along with that I have gotten Trickflow heads, cams, valve covers. Melling high volume oil pump, SFI approved flexplate, Innovators West harmonic balancer, battery box (and new battery- not Optima!), ARP head studs, gasket set etc.

Along with that the vehicle is bare bones and everything including the wiring is getting sorted out and organized so its safe and looks good ;)

Last weekend the bf and I lifted off the box and painted the suspension and frame. I also spent a few hours getting rid of every bit of evidence I ever did a burnout in this thing. Yes, almost 10 yrs of rubber is now obsolete! Also we masked the whole truck and painted the cage with some awesome Kent paint. Turned out incredible.

The truck is finally going to be where I have always wanted it. And to top it off it is going to be immaculate inside and out, right in show truck shape. Just because its a race truck doesnt mean it cant look good doing it!

We are aiming for it to be done Mid April, providing all the parts are here and we dont run intop any hiccups.

Then I will have some interesting "news" that only very few of you know about:p

Before:

 After:

 Before:

 After:

 After:

 Before:

In process:

 After:

 After...NHRA approved to 8.50s

 New shortblock!

Its a sad day, as the new UBC Animal Research Center opens its doors

For a lot of you I am sure you are not aware that UBC has an Animal Research department where Vivisection is performed. They are currently under fire due to 4 monkeys being Euthanized after being injected with Neurotoxins, and apparently having an adverse effect. Sad to say, but at least these monkey are no longer being subjected to being tortured on a daily basis.

Today, as i type this animals such as goats, birds, house primates etc are being taken into the new "State of the art" 60,000 Facility that our tax paying dollars have paid for. Here they will perform "Animal Research" as they like to call it. Sounds much better than the true meaning of Vivisection i suppose. "

The practice of examining internal organs and tissues by cutting into or dissecting a living animal, especially for the purpose of scientific research." All of which is usually done with minimal or without Anaesthetic.

I decided to check out UBC website in regards to their animal testing and was shocked to see that in 2010 they used over 211,000 animals for animal testing. They pride themselves in the fact 97% are small rodents, fish and reptiles. That still leave over 6,000 animals that are large and small mammals, marine mammals, birds and reptiles and amphibians.

What was more shocking to me is that they have a section with "free images" http://www.understandinganimalresearch.org.uk/resources/images_library just briefly looking through a few pictures they seemed to leave out the fact these animals have their brains, spines exposed where they implant electrodes and keep them in contraptions so they cant even move an inch, for months on end. Perhaps they forgot.

We need to educate ourselves and others in our lives as the more of us that are against this, the louder our voices are. I am not a tree hugging hippy thats out to lunch, I simply love animals and believe we have equal rights. No animal deserves to be inflicted with pain and live a life full of torture and without the use of anaesthetic. The simple fact they have proven such animals as Pigs and Monkeys are just as intelligent as us humans makes it that much worse. They might be as intelligent, but they arent cruel like we are.

Please follow STOP UBC Animal Research at the following link
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/STOP-UBC-Animal-Research/105139849560624

Story on the recent deaths of 4 monkeys
http://www.ctvbc.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20120308/bc_monkeys_ubc_120308/20120308/?hub=BritishColumbiaHome

oh and incase you dont know what Vivisection looks like, here is a good idea

looks pretty harmless, right?

Eating disorders....everywhere!?

Today it was made very apparent that Eating Disorders arent so rare as some may think...or hope.

I heard it being discussed on the radio, tv and online. I came across 2 articles in particular that struck a chord with me. One involving Demi Lovato, as well as a terrible story about how a model was fired because she wasnt sticking to her "diet" Whats even worse is that she is a size 2.

It excites me to see that Eating Disorders and body issues arent such a secret anymore and certainly nothing to be ashamed of. I admire women that can come out and say "yes, i hated myself, and hurt my body!" It takes so much courage and ultimatly they are opening themselves up for something we hate so much...criticism. But thats truly overcoming an eating disorder. To be able to share your story and possibly help other women is a sign of being at peace with yourself. If i was still toutured by my demons I couldnt nor would I want to tell a single person. That was initially the hardest thing for me to do, finally say those words that you have a problem and that you need to get better. It is true, the first step is admitting your not healthy and will lead yourself to an early grave if you dont get better. Funny how that child like thought pattern of, it wont happen to me, or that im invincible never really goes away until we realize our mortality.

I truly believe that one woman at a time we can change the world. Starting with you!
Dont discuss how gross or "fat" you feel with your friends or around other women. Dont say things such as "I wish i was skinny like her" Putting yourself down or comparing youself is an unhealthy habit that will affect everyone around you, whether you think it will or not. The most gorgeous, fit girl that you may look up to and give compliments to all the time just might be doing something unhealthy to maintain that body of hers. Instead, talk about the great time you had at the gym, and how fit and healthy you feel. And give compliments that done refer to weight or size, such as - you look so happy!



Demi Lovato's article
http://fitperez.com/2012-03-07-demi-lovato-reveals-she-felt-fat-at-4/?feat=yes

Model not skinny enough!
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/hollands-next-top-model-wins-85-000-lawsuit-114931049.html

eating disorders vs a healthy relationship with nutrition and active lifestyle

After my confession a few days ago it got me thinking that just because I have overcome my eating disorder and now living a life without any addiction or unhealthy habits, it doesnt mean I have simply thrown everything out the window to do with nutrition and working out.

I was definitely very unhealthy and hurt myself for many years. But I have always been interested and educated myself on nutrition and working out. Sadly I took the "do as i say, not as i do approach" always giving everyone that wanted, advice on what to eat and good workout programs.

I read many books during my recovery process from my eating disorder. Some of which the women discussed no longer caring about what they ate or looked like and just loving their bodies no matter what size they were or what they looked like. For awhile i thought this was the right route to take until I really got better and realized thats not me!

I discovered that everyones path to recovery and discovering who they truly are is different for everyone. While some women got to the point they are completely content with their body, dont work out, and indulge in foods when they feel like it, that wasnt me. I got to the point of my recovery that I knew I wasnt going to relapse or go back down that dangerous path. I knew that for me to stay healthy and happy I needed work out (when i felt pain free and strong) and to eat a healthy balance of food and stick to the odd day of indulging. I have found that this is when I am my happiest. I know now what it is like to balance all of this. To no longer beat myself up or have a ruined day because I didnt work out, or because I had a piece of cake on the weekend. Its all about getting back on track and knowing your whole "healthy lifestyle" isnt a write off because you had a day off or decided to eat a so-called bad food.

Unfortunately I have screwed up my digestion and my metabolism as well as a few other things. So i have had to be very patient with myself and know I am not going to get results overnight like I used to, or so I thought;) My body is slowly getting back on track with the help of a Nutritionalist, eating a very clean diet and working out when I feel like it. Some days I work out  twice when I have too much energy, other days I dont even think about it and happily sleep in and lay on the couch when I come home!

I believe truly overcoming an eating disorder means different things for all of us. For me it is still being active and eating healthy, but not getting carried away and thinking all my hard work is ruined because of one day where I decide to say screw it to eating healthy and have a piece of cake!

Someone very inspiring that I discovered a few weeks ago is a young man who has overcome Anorexia (As a child) and is now not only a body builder but a Competetive Eater!! His story is incredible and so cool to see that not only can you overcome an eating disorder but take life by the ...umm well you know what I mean....and not let it control or affect your life, no matter what you end up doing. His name is Furious pete..you can check him out here....

http://furiouspete.com/

Im sure most of you will be shocked to know..

I wasnt really quite sure at what point in time during my healing process and the start of my blog would be the appropriate time to "come out" with this,. But perhaps having conquered it and being in such a good place, and happier than ever I figured no time like the presence!

I have overcome a few things including depilitating OCD, had to fight for my life at age 7 when I was put in Childrens Hospital, dealt with Anxiety and Depression (and used anti-depressants) But the one thing I feel is important to share is something that has been kept very quiet and a secret for so many years, over half my life.

I have had an eating disorder since the age of 11.

I believe that the eating disorder and plastic surgery issues go hand in hand and with the issues many women are facing today. I felt the desire to start sharing my story and recovery process. Todays blog entry will start this off, but because it was such a big part of my life for so long I cant possibly get it all out in one entry.

From the age of 11-23 I battled Bulimia. This invovled periods of starving myself, overeating, and then of course, getting rid of it. It started out quite gradual and there were times when I didnt do it for periods of time and it was just like a bad habit i indulged in every now and then.

Until late 2010 I didnt realize what a problem it was until I started noticing signs that I was hurting my body. It had gotten so bad I would sometimes spend hours doing it, and each night was consumed by my addiction. Making excuses, lies and not being my true self were all byproducts of this. Slowly over the past few years I became someone that wasnt me.

Early 2011 I hit rock bottom with this. Throwing up blood was a bit of a wake up call...but after googling all the complications of Bulimia it really hit hard. Knowing at any moment I could have a heart attack from all the stress i am putting on it is what sealed the deal. The fact I was dealing with RA, I knew didnt help either.

To make a long story short I confessed my lifelong secret to the closest people in my life, found an incredible therapist and started the long process of getting better. As with any addiction it hasnt been an easy road, especially while dealing with the fact I had implants that needed to come out.

May 8th 2011 was my first day of not giving in to my addiction and have kept to this ever since. Its been one hell of a year to say the least!!!

Because of my eating disorder and implants I was forced to figure out who I truly was and what I wanted out of life. I realized its not all about pleasing everyone else, especially when your not happy at the end of it.

Today I am getting my health back on track and feeling better than I have, not in years, but ever! For the first time in my life I can say i really love myself, mentally and physically. I can accept my imperfections and everything that makes me unique instead of trying to fit in this unrealistic, and unhealthy "mold" of what we should apparently look like. I work out almost everyday, eat a clean diet and allow myelf to have days off where I can indulge. This for me has been the most healthy path to choose and my body loves me for it.

I was that girl in the magazines, I looked the part....but little did everyone know that I was battling an eating disorder and fighting for my health. I hope that there are girls out there reading this that can realize there is so much more to life than trying to reach an unrealistic goal and trying to make everyone else accept and love you. This path leads to sadness, self hatred and all the issues that go along with this.

Right now as I type this, I am painfree, no RA symptoms and a clear head! I am happier than I ever thought possible and truly love myself....upon learning what it is like to truly love yourself I have realized that once you reach that level of self acceptance and confidence, you dont give a crap what anyone else thinks or says!

....and just remember...to all the women out there. Think back to a time where a male commented on your size and made you feel unworthy. Did he have incredible looks and a sculpted body?! My point exactly;)